Another Day of Nursing, Child rearing and Travel

Train 67 rolls towards Toronto once again and I find little inspiration in the lead grey remnants of Hurricane Ernesto that somber the sky and pour down the rain. It’s been a bit of a gloomy day.

Pace had one of her intestinal attacks as she got up this morning. It was one of the bad ones; she was drifting in and out of consciousness and feeling quite unwell. Once the main part of the episode was over, I striped her and bathed her. That’s when I got a quick look at the scars from the operation. I did not examine her chest because she’s not chosen to show me yet and I did not want her to feel any more stress. She went back to bed and slept till one in the afternoon.

The wee one and I painted, then alternated between watching Clifford and looking outside to see if the rain had stopped, wich it didn't. Eventually had a nap together before I had to get to the train station. Pace stayed in bed and I implored her to rest and heal, this is no time to be superwoman. As I left, we both had watery eyes, the time we have together is always too short. ‘I love you, I miss you, I’ll see you soon.’

The wee one wailed as I got on the train today. “Je veux aller en train avec Papa! Je veux aller ‘home!’’

“La maison” is Oka, Toronto is “home.”

People on the train flash me a slightly concerned look or sigh sympathetically.

Pace told me the wee one is really starting to miss me during the week. She’s telling her grandmere that Papa is coming home tonight. And that is on a Tuesday. This separation of the family is hard on all of us and while the wee one understands a lot of what is going on around her I can’t expect her to understand everything.

The woman I used to count on for child care told me last week she is no longer going to be babysitting. That is unless it is close to her home and not for more than an evening. Oh well, all good things come to an end sometime. I’ve got to find some time this week to look into sharing a nanny or finding day care. I’ll need to be a single Papa at least once again before Pace comes home in December.